Misnomers
by Chihori Anigma
Summary: Kyoya's father wants to expand to Israel so he sends the Host Club to explore the culture there, but everything is a misnomer, no one knows how to answer Tamaki's questions and there are pieces of unleavened bread covered with chocolate.


The plane from Japan landed a few minutes after schedule at Ben-Gurion Airport in Tel-Aviv. Six boys and a girl walked down the steps from first class and onto the ground of the Holy Land. The sun burned above them making Haruhi take off her pink sweater.

Ahead and to the left of them a crowd a people stood, holding up signs, singing and cheering, welcoming a different plane. The people they were welcoming were hugging the welcomers, going into a blue building or, strangely, _kissing the ground_.

"What are those people doing, Kyoya-chan?" asked Honey looking at the adults kissing the ground wonderingly.

Kyoya pushed up his glasses and opened his notebook. "They are Jewish immigrants who have moved to Israel. To show their love for the land they kiss the ground when they first see it."

"Oh."

"That's strange."

"No!" Tamaki made a sweeping gesture with his arm. "It is a tender gesture full of love for the Holy Land! I, too, shall do it!" He knelt on the dusty ground and kissed it, ignoring the dust sticking to the knees of his white pants.

After Tamaki had finished kissing the ground the group made their way into the airport and then took a _sherut*_ to the InterContinental David Tel Aviv Hotel-one of the most expensive hotels in Israel.

When they had put their suitcases in their rooms and unpacked they met again in the gift shop. Hikaru was fingering a figurine of the Israelites crossing the Red Sea, though why it should be in Tel Aviv, a distance of 352 kilometers away from the Red Sea and not Eilat nobody knew.

"What are going to do?" he asked.

Kyoya flipped open his notebook again. "For Day 1 we have a tour of the Old City of Jerusalem scheduled; Day 2 is Tiberias and Safed; on Day 3 we will go to Masada and Ein Gedi and on Day 4 we will go to Holocaust Museum, Yad Va'Shem. Then we will go back to Japan."

"Wait, when's the fun stuff?" Kaoru asked. Honey nodded and Mori grunted.

"Like what?"

"Night clubs, Eilat, the Dead Sea spas! Jeep trips, the beach!"

Kyoya sighed. "My family's company sent us here to learn about the culture and see if it would be worth it to invest here. To do this my father insists that we must learn the history of the country." Though he didn't say anything Kyoya wasn't entirely in agreement with his father's plan either. He thought that to know if you should invest somewhere you should get to know the culture of the modern day, not the past. The com-pany, however, was still his father's company and if Kyoya wanted to get a big share in it he must do as his father said.

The taxi Kyoya's family's company had ordered came and the group piled in. After around an hour and a half of driving where everybody had managed to annoy everybody the taxi stopped in front of Jaffa Gate. They all got out, breathing sighs of relief, especially Honey who had been squashed.

They entered the City of David and started up the path to the tower.

"So, here is where King David lived?" asked Tamaki.

"No," Kyoya replied. "Here is where the regular people live. King David lived farther down near the Temple Mount."

"Then why is it called the City of David?"

Kyoya shrugged. "I don't know."

They went on to Herod's Gate.

"So, this is the gate King Herod the Great built?"

"No, it was built much later by Emperor Suleiman the Magnificent."

"Then why is it called Herod's gate?"

Kyoya shrugged. "I don't know."

At last they arrived at the Western Wall.

"Is this wall in the East?"

"No, the Western Wall is situated in the west of the Old City."

"You mean it's not a misnomer?"

"No."

"And it was actually built by King Herod?"

"Yes...Except for the top stones. Those were built by Moses Montefiore at the very end of the Ottoman Empire."

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Tamaki fell to his knees and rocked on the ground. "Everything is a lie; my life is a lie!" he sobbed. Eventually they managed to get him to the taxi that would bring them back to Tel-Aviv.

…

.

The next morning they set off for Tiberias and Safed. After spending the morning in Tiberias they came to Safed in the afternoon, all starving. Hikaru and Kaoru had, however, forgotten to get lunch from the hotel so they would have to buy something in a local _makolet**_.

They found one quickly enough, but getting in to the tiny store was a slower process seeing that Tamaki, Hikaru, Kaoru and Honey were all trying to get through the teensy doorway at the same time. When they at got in they all started looking for food.

Tamaki picked up a small blue bag with _Click! _Proudly written on it in yellow letters. He turned to the shop-keeper.

"Good sir, what is this?" he asked.

Luckily the shop-keeper understood some English. "That is matzah with chocolate on it," he answered.

"What is 'matzah'?"

The shop-keeper did not know enough English to answer that, but Kyoya quickly typed something in his laptop. "'Matzah' is unleavened bread baked for under eighteen minutes traditionally eaten by Jews on Passover to remember the fact that their ancestors left Egypt in a hurry without enough time to bake real bread."

"I want to buy this!" Tamaki proclaimed holding the bag up in the sky.

Haruhi turned around from where she was looking at over-ripe bananas. "Unleavened bread," she said. "That doesn't sound so good."

"But it's covered in chocolate!" Tamaki cried.

Honey nodded vigorously. "It's covered in chocolate. It has to be good!"

Haruhi just sighed and let Tamaki buy the bag. She was proven right outside when Tamaki opened the bag, took a piece and quickly passed the bag to Honey who ate all of it up quickly. After eating they continued their tour of Safed which was, really, very boring.

…

.

The third morning of their stay in Israel they all woke up late except for Kyoya. None of them really wanted to go to Masada after the failure of the trip the day before.

"Can't we go to some beach?" Hikaru complained. "Or to one of the Dead Sea spas?" Kyoya just shook his head.

At the end of the long bus ride the group stepped out to the desert heat which even in spring was hotter than they were used to. Thankfully, they did not have to climb all the way up to the fortress and were taking the cable car up. Well, thankfully for all except Mori.

The minute they stepped into the car Mori paled. As the glass car climbed up and up the cable Mori started to shiver uncontrollably.

"What is wrong, Takashi?" asked Honey, the smile that was usually on his face disappearing.

"Nothing." Mori's face whitened a little more as he glanced down at the clear floor. "I am just scared of heights, Mitsukuni."

Honey's eyes widened and he hugged Mori for the rest of the way up which Mori was thankful for because he was sure that without Honey he would have cried. When he finally got out his legs felt like jelly and he had to sit down until they acted like normal legs again.

When he and Honey finally walked over to their tourist group Tamaki was asking the tour guide a question.

"So they all committed suicide in order that the Romans wouldn't capture them and make them bow down to statues?"

"Yes."

"If they all committed suicide how do we know why they committed suicide?"

The tour guide seemed stumped at this question. Probably no one had asked him it before. "I do not know Suoh-san," he said with a small bow.

"Why does no one ever know anything?" Tamaki muttered under his breath to Haruhi who shrugged, not knowing the answer.

After they had come down the cable car Kyoya announced that there had been a change in plans. They were going back to Japan a day early and were going to fly the next morning.

"So you mean we don't have to see any more depressing stuff of people who died?"

_**Sherut**_**\- A mini-bus like taxi usually gotten at the airport.**

_**Makolet**_**\- A small grocery store that usually has bread, candy, milk, fruit and maybe some more things.**

**Credit to suicide question goes to 'HaYehudim Baim' which is an awesome show and if you know Hebrew watch it. Just do.**

**Sorry if I got anything wrong. Except for the Western Wall I haven't been to these places for over two years.**

**Challenge: High-School Never Ends**

**Prompt: Write about culture**


End file.
